2022-09-03 16:00:01 ×÷ÕߣºÃÀÇå
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¡¡¡¡In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the “unpardonable.”
¡¡¡¡×î½üÔÚÎÒÖ´½ÌµÄÒ»¸ö³ÉÈ˰༶ÀÎÒ¸ÉÁËÒ»¼þ“²»¿ÉÈÄË¡µÄ”ÊÂÇé¡£
¡¡¡¡I gave the class homework!
¡¡¡¡ÎÒ¾ÓÈ»¸ø°àÉϵÄѧÉú²¼ÖÃÁËÒ»·Ý¼ÒÍ¥×÷Òµ!
¡¡¡¡The assignment was to “go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them.
¡¡¡¡ÈÎÎñÊÇ“ÏÂÖÜÖ®ÄÚÒª×ßµ½ÄãËù°®µÄÈËÃæÇ°£¬¸æËßËûÃÇÄã°®Ëû¡£
¡¡¡¡It has to be someone you have never said those words to before
¡¡¡¡´ËÈ˱ØÐëÊÇһλ´ËÇ°Äã´Óδ¶Ô֮˵¹ý´Ë»°µÄ¶ÔÏó£¬
¡¡¡¡or at least haven''t shared those words with for a long time.”
¡¡¡¡»òÖÁÉٺܾÃûÓÐÓëËûÃǽ»Á÷¹ýÕâЩ°®ÒⰻȻµÄ»°ÓïÁË¡£”
¡¡¡¡Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35
¡¡¡¡ÌýÆðÀ´Õâ²»ÏñÊÇÒ»·Ý¿Á¿ÌµÄÈÎÎñ£¬Ö±µ½ÄãÒâʶµ½Õâ¸ö°àÀï¶àÊýÄÐÉúÒÑÄêÓâ35Ëê¡£
¡¡¡¡and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not “macho.”
¡¡¡¡ºÎ¿öÔÚËûÃdzɳ¤µÄÄǸöÄê´ú£¬ËûÃÇÊܵ½µÄÊÇÕâÑùµÄ¹àÊ䣺Á÷¶Çé¸ÐûÓГÑô¸ÕÖ®Æø”¡£
¡¡¡¡Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done.
¡¡¡¡ÈËÃDz»»áÇáÒ×Á÷¶Çé¸ÐºÍ¿ÞÆü(ÀÏÌìÒ²²»ÔÊ!)¡£
¡¡¡¡So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
¡¡¡¡Òò´Ë¶ÔijЩÈËÀ´Ëµ£¬ÕâÊÇÒ»ÏîÁîÈËÉúηµÄÈÎÎñ¡£
¡¡¡¡At the beginning of our next class,
¡¡¡¡µÚ¶þ´ÎÉÏ¿ÎÒ»¿ªÊ¼£¬
¡¡¡¡I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them.
¡¡¡¡ÎÒ¾ÍÎÊ£ºµ±Äã¸æËß±ðÈËÄã°®Ëû/Ëýʱ£¬½á¹ûÔõÑù?ÓÐûÓÐÈËÔ¸Òâ½²Ò»½²?
¡¡¡¡I fully expected one of the women to volunteer6, as was usually the case,
¡¡¡¡ÎÒÂúÐÄÖ¸ÍûÏñƽ³£Ò»Ñù£¬Ä³Î»Å®Ê¿ÄÜ×Ô¸æ·ÜÓ£¬
¡¡¡¡but on this evening one of the men raised his hand.
¡¡¡¡µ«ÊÇÕâÌìÍíÉÏ£¬Ò»Î»ÄÐÊ¿¾ÙÆðÁËÊÖ¡£
¡¡¡¡He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
¡¡¡¡Ëû¿´ÉÏÈ¥ºÜÊܸж¯µÄÑù×Ó£¬»¹ÓÐÒ»µã²ü¶¶¡£
¡¡¡¡As he unfolded out of his chair(all 6 2" of him),
¡¡¡¡µ±Ëû´Ó×ùÒÎÉÏÖ±ÆðÉíÀ´Ê±(ËûÉí¸ß6Ó¢³ß2Ó¢´ç)£¬
¡¡¡¡he began by saying, Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment.
¡¡¡¡ËûÕâÑù˵µÀ£º“µ¤Äá˹£¬ÉÏÖÜÄã¸øÎÒÃDz¼ÖÃÈÎÎñʱ£¬ÎÒºÜÉúÄãµÄÆø¡£
¡¡¡¡I didn`t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides,
¡¡¡¡ÎÒÈÏΪÎÒûÓÐʲôÈËÐèÒªÎÒ˵ÄÇЩ»°£¬¶øÇÒ£¬
¡¡¡¡who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?
¡¡¡¡ÄãÊÇË?ƾʲôÈÃÎÒÃÇÈ¥¸ÉÕâÖÖÉæ¼°Òþ˽µÄÊÂ?
¡¡¡¡“But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me.
¡¡¡¡“µ«ÎÒÇý³µ»Ø¼Òʱ£¬ÎÒµÄÁ¼Öª¿ªÊ¼ÓëÎÒ¶Ô»°¡£
¡¡¡¡It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.
¡¡¡¡Ëü¸æËßÎÒ£¬ÎÒȷʵ֪µÀÐèÒªÏòË˵‘ÎÒ°®Äã'Õâ¾ä»°¡£
¡¡¡¡You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time.
¡¡¡¡“ÄãÇÆ£¬5ÄêÇ°£¬ÎÒÓ븸Ç×·¢ÉúÁ˼¤ÁÒµÄÕùÖ´£¬¶øÇÒ´Ó´ËÔÙҲûÓÐÏû³ý¸ôºÒ¡£
¡¡¡¡We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings.
¡¡¡¡ÎÒÃÇ»¥Ïà»Ø±Ü£¬³ý·Ç¾ø¶Ô±ØÐë³öϯʥµ®½Ú¾Û»á»òÆäËûµÄ¼ÒÍ¥¾Û»á¡£
¡¡¡¡But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.
¡¡¡¡µ«ÉõÖÁÔÚÄÇЩ³¡ºÏ£¬ÎÒÃDZ˴˼¸ºõÒ²²»ËµÒ»¾ä»°¡£
¡¡¡¡“So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
¡¡¡¡“Òò´Ë£¬ÉÏÖܶþµ½¼Òʱ£¬ÎÒÈ·ÐÅ×Ô¼º×öµÃ²»¶Ô£¬´òËã¸æË߸¸Ç×ÎÒ°®Ëû¡£
¡¡¡¡“It’s weird, but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.
¡¡¡¡“ÕâʶùÓеã¹Ö¹ÖµÄ£¬µ«¾ÍÊÇÕâ¸ö¾ö¶¨Ëƺõ°á×ßÁËÒ»¿éѹÔÚÎÒÐØ¿ÚµÄÖØʯ¡£
¡¡¡¡“When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her, she didn’t just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged my, and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!
¡¡¡¡µ½¼ÒµÄʱºò£¬ÎÒ³å½øÎÝÀÏë¸æËßÆÞ×ÓÎҵĴòËã¡£µ±Ê±ËýÒѾÉÏ´²Ë¯ÁË£¬µ«ÎÒÎÞÂÛÈçºÎ»¹ÊǽÐÐÑÁËËý¡£ÎÒÈç´ËÕâ°ã¸æËßËý£¬Ëý²»µ¥ÊÇÆðÁË´²£¬¼òÖ±¾ÍÊÇÌøÆðÀ´Óµ±§ÎÒ£¬»éºóµÚÒ»´ÎËýÄ¿¶ÃÁËÎÒ¿ÞÆüµÄÑù×Ó¡£ÄÇÒ»Ò¹ÎÒÃÇÆ·×Å¿§·È˵×Å»°Ò»Ö±Áĵ½°ëÒ¹¡£Õâ¸Ð¾õÕæ°ô!
¡¡¡¡“The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished more in two hours than I had the whole day before.
¡¡¡¡“µÚ¶þÌìÒ»´óÇåÔçÎÒ¾ÍÆðÁË´²¡£ÎÒ¼¤¶¯µÃ˯²»×žõ£¬ÌáÇ°µ½°ì¹«ÊÒÉϰ࣬Á½¸öСʱ֮Äھ͸ÉÍêÁ˱ÈÒÔÇ°¸ÉÒ»ÕûÌ컹Ҫ¶àµÄ»î¡£
¡¡¡¡“At 9:00 I called my dad to see if could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, ‘Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you.’ My dad responded with a grumpy, ‘Now what?’ I assured him it wouldn’t take long, so he finally agreed.
¡¡¡¡“ÔھŵãµÄʱºòÎÒ´òµç»°¸ø¸¸Ç×ÎÊÎÊÄܲ»ÄÜÏ°àºóÈ¥¿´Ëû£¬µ±Ëû½Óµç»°µÄʱºò£¬ÎÒÖ»ÊÇ˵£º‘ÀÏ°Ö£¬½ñÍíÉÏÏ°àºóÎÒÄܵ½ÄãÄĶùÈ¥Âð?ÎÒÓÐʸúÄã˵¡£’¸¸Çײ»ÄÍ·³µÄÓ¦´ð£º‘ʲôÊÂ?’ÎÒÏòËû±£Ö¤»¨²»Á˶೤ʱ¼ä£¬×îÖÕËûͬÒâÁË¡£
¡¡¡¡“At 5:30, I was at my parents’ house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door.
¡¡¡¡“Îåµã°ë£¬ÎÒ¾ÍÀ´µ½¸¸Ä¸¼ÒÞôÏìÁËÃÅÁå¡£ÎÒ°µ×Ôµ»¸æÀÏ°Ö»áÓ¦Éù¿ªÃÅ¡£º¦ÅÂÈç¹ûÓ¦Éù¿ªÃŵÄÊÇĸÇ×£¬ÎÒ»áÒòµ¨ÇÓ¶ø¶ÔËý˵³öÄǼ¸¸ö×Ö¡£ÖÕ¹éÎÒµÄÔËÆøºÃ£¬ÀÏ°ÖÓ¦ÉùÀ´µ½ÃÅ¿Ú¡£
¡¡¡¡“I didn’t waste any time – I took one step in the door and said, ‘Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.’
¡¡¡¡“ÎÒ×¥½ôʱ¼ä———ÎÒÒ»½Å¿ç½øÃż÷˵£º‘ÀÏ°Ö£¬ÎÒÀ´¾ÍÊÇΪÁËÌصظæËßÄãÒ»ÉùÎÒ°®Äã¡£’
¡¡¡¡“It was as if a transformation came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened, the wrinkles seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, ‘I love you too, son, but I’ve never been able to say it.’
¡¡¡¡“ÌýÁËÕâ»°£¬ÀÏ°ÖËƺõÇ°ºóÅÐÈôÁ½ÈË¡£Ö»¼ûËûÁ³±äµÃÈáºÍÆðÀ´£¬Á¬ÖåÎÆËƺõÒ²ÏûʧÁË£¬ËûÆü²»³ÉÉù¡£ËûÉì³öÊÖÓµ±§ÎÒ˵£º‘¶ù×Ó£¬ÎÒÒ²°®Ä㣬µ«Õâ»°ÒÔÇ°ÎÒ´ÓÀ´Ã»ÄÜ˵³ö¿Ú¡£’
¡¡¡¡“It was such a precious moment I didn’t want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadn’t felt that great in a long time.
¡¡¡¡“ÕâÒ»¿ÌÈç´Ë±¦¹óÒÔÖÁÓÚÎÒ²»ÏëŲ¶¯°ë²½¡£ÂèÂèË«ÑÛº¬Àá×ß¹ýÀ´£¬ÎÒÖ»»ÓÁË»ÓÊÖ£¬¸øÁËËýÒ»¸ö·ÉÎÇ¡£ÎҺ͸¸Ç×ÓÖÏàӵƬ¿Ì£¬È»ºóÎÒÀ뿪ÁË¡£Ðí¾ÃÒÔÀ´£¬ÎÒ¶¼Ã»ÓйýÄÇô°ôµÄ¸Ð¾õÁË¡£
¡¡¡¡“But that’s not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didn’t tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I don’t know if he'll make it.
¡¡¡¡“µ«Õâ²¢²»ÊÇÎÒ˵ÕâЩµÄÄ¿µÄ¡£ÄÇ´ÎÉÏÃÅÖ®ºó¹ýÁËÁ½Ì죬Îҵĸ¸Ç×———Ëû»¼ÓÐÐÄÔಡ£¬µ«Ã»ÓиæËßÎÒ———Í»·¢Ðļ¡¹£Èû£¬½á¹û±»ËÍÍùÒ½Ôº£¬»èÃÔ²»ÐÑ¡£ÎÒ²»ÖªËûÊÇ·ñÄÜͦ¹ýÈ¥¡£
¡¡¡¡“So my message to all of you in this is: Don’t wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad – maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!”
¡¡¡¡“ËùÒÔÎÒÒªÖÒ¸æÈ«°àͬѧµÄÊÇ£ºÈç¹ûÄãÖªµÀÓÐЩÊÂÇéÐèÒª×öµÄ»°£¬Ç§Íò²»ÒªµÈ¡£ÒªÊÇÎҵȵ½ÒÔºóÔÙ¶Ô¸¸Ç×˵‘ÎÒ°®Äã’ÄǾ仰»áÔõôÑùÄØ———Ò²ÐíÎÒÓÀԶûÓлú»áÁË!×¥½ôʱ¼äÈ¥¸ÉÄãÐèÒª¸ÉµÄÊÂÇ飬ÏÖÔÚ¾ÍÐж¯!”
¡¡¡¡By Pablo Neruda¡¡×÷Õß: ÅÁ²¼ÂÞ.Äô³´ï
¡¡¡¡I want you to know one thing¡¡Ï£ÍûÄãÖªµÀ
¡¡¡¡You know how this is¡¡ÕâÊÇÎÒµÄÏë·¨
¡¡¡¡If I look at the crystal moon¡¡µ±ÎÒƾ´°ÄýÍû
¡¡¡¡at the red branch¡¡æ©æ©¶øÀ´µÄÇïÈÕ
¡¡¡¡of the slow autumn at my window¡¡ ºìÖ¦ÉϵÄÃ÷ÔÂ
¡¡¡¡If I touch near the fire¡¡µ±ÎÒÇá´¥»ð¶ÑÅÔ
¡¡¡¡the impalpable ash,¡¡ËÆÓÐËÆÎ޵ij¾½ý
¡¡¡¡or the wrinkled body of the log¡¡»òÊÇñÞÖå²ã²ãµÄľ²ñ
¡¡¡¡Everything carries me to you¡¡ÎÒµÄÐĶù¾Í»á·ÉÏòÄã
¡¡¡¡As if everything that exists¡¡ËƺõÒ»Çж¼ÓÐÁË
¡¡¡¡Aromas, light, medals,¡¡·Ò·¼,¹âÃ÷ºÍÈÙÓþ
¡¡¡¡Or little boats that sail toward¡¡¾ÍÏñСÖÛµ´ÏòµºÓì
¡¡¡¡those isles of your that wait for me,¡¡ÄÇÀï, ÄãµÈºò×ÅÎÒ
¡¡¡¡Well now. If little by little¡¡È»¶ø£¬¼ÙÈô
¡¡¡¡You stop loving me, ¡¡Äã¶ÔÎҵİ®ÇéµÈ¥
¡¡¡¡I shall stop loving you¡¡Îҵİ®»ðÒ²»á
¡¡¡¡Little by little.¡¡½¥½¥Ï¨Ãð.
¡¡¡¡If suddenly you forget me¡¡Èç¹û˲¼äÄãÍüÁËÎÒ
¡¡¡¡Do not look for me¡¡±ðÀ´ÕÒÎÒ,
¡¡¡¡For I shall already have forgotten you.¡¡ÒòΪÎÒÔçÒÑ°ÑÄãÍü»³.
¡¡¡¡If you think it long and mad¡¡ÎÒÉúÃüÖÐ
¡¡¡¡the wind of banners¡¡¹ýÍùµÄÁÔÁÔ¼²·ç
¡¡¡¡that passes through my life, ¡¡Èç¹ûÄãÏÓÆúËü¹ýÓÚÓƳ¤,·è¿ñ
¡¡¡¡And you decide to leave me¡¡¶ø¾öÒâÀëÎÒ¶øÈ¥
¡¡¡¡at the shore of the heart where I have roots, ¡¡ÔÚÎÒ°®ÇéËùÉîÂñµÄÐÄÖ®°¶
¡¡¡¡Remember, that on that day, at that hour,¡¡¼Çס, ±Ëʱ±Ë¿Ì,
¡¡¡¡I shall lift my arms¡¡ÎÒ½«¾ÙÆðË«±Û
¡¡¡¡And my roots will set off¡¡Ò¡¶Ï°®µÄ¸ùÂö,
¡¡¡¡to seek another land.¡¡í¬ÓÚËû·½.
¡¡¡¡But, if each day, each hour,¡¡µ«ÊÇ, Èç¹ûÿʱÿ¿Ì
¡¡¡¡You feel that you are destined for me¡¡Èç¹ûÄãÒ²¸Ð¾õµ½ÄãÊÇÎÒµÄÕæÃüÌì×Ó
¡¡¡¡with implacable sweetness, ¡¡Äܹ²ÏíÆæÃîµÄÌðÃÛ
¡¡¡¡If each day a flower climbs¡¡Èç¹ûÄãÓÏòÎҵĺ촽
¡¡¡¡up to your lips to seek me,¡¡Ã¿ÌìÕÀÈôÏÊ»¨
¡¡¡¡Ah my love, ah my own,¡¡°¡£¬Îҵİ®ÈË, ÎÒÐÄÀï
¡¡¡¡in me all that fire is repeated, ¡¡ËùÓеİ®»ð½«ÔÙ¶ÈȼÆð,
¡¡¡¡In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten¡¡ÓÀ²»»áÏûʧ, ÓÀ²»±»Íü¼Ç
¡¡¡¡My love feeds on your love, beloved,¡¡ÎÒÇéÒòÄã°®¶øÉú, °®ÈË°¡
¡¡¡¡And as long as you live¡¡Ç鳤½ñÉú,
¡¡¡¡it will be in your arms without leaving mine. ¡¡²»ÀëÄãÎÒ±ÛÍä.
¡¡¡¡"A friend walk in when the rest of the world walks out."
¡¡¡¡"±ðÈ˶¼×ß¿ªµÄʱºò£¬ÅóÓÑÈÔÓëÄãÔÚÒ»Æð¡£”
¡¡¡¡Sometimes in life,
¡¡¡¡ÓÐʱºòÔÚÉú»îÖУ¬
¡¡¡¡You find a special friend;
¡¡¡¡Äã»áÕÒµ½Ò»¸öÌرðµÄÅóÓÑ;
¡¡¡¡Someone who changes your life just by being part of it.
¡¡¡¡ËûÖ»ÊÇÄãÉú»îÖеÄÒ»²¿·ÖÄÚÈÝ£¬È´ÄܸıäÄãÕû¸öµÄÉú»î¡£
¡¡¡¡Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;
¡¡¡¡Ëû»á°ÑÄ㶺µÃ¿ª»³´óЦ;
¡¡¡¡Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.
¡¡¡¡Ëû»áÈÃÄãÏàÐÅÈ˼äÓÐÕæÇé¡£
¡¡¡¡Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.
¡¡¡¡Ëû»áÈÃÄãÈ·ÐÅ£¬ÕæµÄÓÐÒ»ÉȲ»¼ÓËøµÄÃÅ£¬Ôڵȴý×ÅÄãÈ¥¿ªÆô¡£
¡¡¡¡This is Forever Friendship.
¡¡¡¡Õâ¾ÍÊÇÓÀÔ¶µÄÓÑÒê¡£
¡¡¡¡when you're down,
¡¡¡¡µ±ÄãʧÒ⣬
¡¡¡¡and the world seems dark and empty,
¡¡¡¡µ±ÊÀ½ç±äµÃ÷öµÓë¿ÕÐ飬
¡¡¡¡Your forever friend lifts you up in spirits and makes that dark and empty world
¡¡¡¡suddenly seem bright and full.
¡¡¡¡ÄãÕæÕýµÄÅóÓÑ»áÈÃÄãÕñ×÷ÆðÀ´£¬Ô±¾÷öµ¡¢¿ÕÐéµÄÊÀ½ç¶Ùʱ±äµÃÃ÷ÁÁºÍ³äʵ¡£
¡¡¡¡Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times.
¡¡¡¡ÄãÕæÕýµÄÅóÓÑ»áÓëÄãһͬ¶È¹ýÀ§ÄÑ¡¢ÉËÐĺͷ³ÄÕµÄʱ¿Ì¡£
¡¡¡¡If you turn and walk away,
¡¡¡¡ÄãתÉí×ß¿ªÊ±£¬
¡¡¡¡Your forever friend follows,
¡¡¡¡ÕæÕýµÄÅóÓÑ»á½ô½ôÏàË棬
¡¡¡¡If you lose you way,
¡¡¡¡ÄãÃÔʧ·½Ïòʱ£¬
¡¡¡¡Your forever friend guides you and cheers you on.
¡¡¡¡ÕæÕýµÄÅóÓÑ»áÒýµ¼Ä㣬¹ÄÀøÄã¡£
¡¡¡¡Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay.
¡¡¡¡ÕæÕýµÄÅóÓÑ»áÎÕ×ÅÄãµÄÊÖ£¬¸æËßÄãÒ»Çж¼»áºÃÆðÀ´µÄ¡£
¡¡¡¡And if you find such a friend,
¡¡¡¡Èç¹ûÄãÕÒµ½ÁËÕâÑùµÄÅóÓÑ£¬
¡¡¡¡You feel happy and complete,
¡¡¡¡Äã»á¿ìÀÖ£¬¾õµÃÈËÉúÍêÕû£¬
¡¡¡¡Because you need not worry,
¡¡¡¡ÒòΪÄãÎÞÐèÔÙÓÇÂÇ¡£
¡¡¡¡Your have a forever friend for life,
¡¡¡¡ÄãÓµÓÐÁËÒ»¸öÕæÕýµÄÅóÓÑ£¬
¡¡¡¡And forever has no end.
¡¡¡¡ÓÀÓÀÔ¶Ô¶£¬ÓÀÎÞÖ¹¾³¡£
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